In December and January I was thinking seriously about what I would do with Fox this year. I really, really, REALLY wanted to get to a Beginner Novice Horse Trial with him. So we needed to work on our canter departs, which were fairly ugly and work on oh cantering over a course of fences. Which was something we had yet to do. My work schedule had been fairly ugly in the last couple of years and the whole I will not ride if I’m alone at the house thing really put a dent in my training plan.
But there was light on the horizon! In July I would be going to a new command with a different and thankfully less stressful schedule. I might even be able to ride my horse in the mornings before work! At least on days that my husband was home. Everything was looking up, rosy and positively delightful despite the nasty winter weather that decided to descend on us.
And that is exactly when the universe decided that my life needed a little shaking up. I’m pretty sure there are some people upstairs laughing their asses off. Because in early February I found out that I was pregnant. The week before my 40th birthday. After eighteen years of marriage and absolutely no hint of babies anywhere. I had been telling both our families for years that I did not want children. Their messy, needy and require large amounts of my personal time devoted to their every whim. I know, I know it sounds exactly like owning horses. But horses can be left out in a fenced enclosure while you live the rest of your life. The police and social services tend to frown on doing that with a baby.
So I had to rethink pretty much everything about my life at that point. I was still riding until about mid-March then I made the decision to stop. It wasn’t that I felt scared or that anything truly bad happened. Fox just had a small brainless moment. I never felt out of control or like I was going to come off but I felt like if this happened a few months later I might have been unbalanced enough to come off. I’m 40 years old, I wasn’t planning for this baby but it’s right here with me and I have to do what I can to protect it. Who knows maybe it will be an Olympic Eventer who goes out and conquers all those courses that scare the life out of me! Until I can get back on which won’t be until late next winter/early spring my coach will be giving Fox the education and hopefully horse trial miles he needs.
So I’m trying to think about all the great things that come with a kid rather than the down sides. Yeah there will be diapers, lost sleep and I’ll have to carve out time to ride. But there will also in a few years be a PONY! That sweet, pretty, talented pony that I never got as a kid, though I begged and begged. There will hopefully be Pony Club, horse shows and horse trials. I’m hoping that I can share my love of horses and this kid whoever he or she is will love them just as much as I do.
I’ll be a little disappointed if the newest member of Eventing at Midnight doesn’t have the horse bug but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then everyone keep it between the flags!