Pony Kisses

 The hardest part of loving is having to let go.  As the summer wore on Seneca made it more and more obvious that she was ready to rest. I chose a warm day in early September and had Superhubs take my daughter to a camp activity at her gymnastics gym so that I could be alone. Having to worry about other people can be overwhelming for me.  Welcome to my particular brand of anxiety. Yippee.

We had a party for Seneca the Sunday prior, letting everyone who loved the haughty bay mare say goodbye by spoiling her with treats. I tried to give her a piece of carrot cake but she literally turned her nose up at it.  I took loads of pictures of her and spent the morning just hanging out with her.  In the end she lay down quietly and slipped away as I stroked her neck. I clipped lots of pieces of her mane and tail and I’ll have jewelry made eventually.  I chose to have Seneca cremated so I could take her with us to the next farm. Her urn, a lovely carved wooden box with her name engraved on a brass plate sits on the table next to my bed. I touch it each night as I go to bed and each morning when I get up. 

She was lovely bay Queen and I will miss her terribly.  

Keep it between the flags everyone. 

The Chaos That Is

      So many months have gone by again since I have laid my fingers on the keyboard. Sometimes it is hard to know what to write because so much has changed and yet nothing has.  I am still working a job I hate but the end is closer yet. Only 18 more months to go!  I still have my terrifying daughter who is not quite four but continues to scare and amuse me every day.  I still have my wonderful Superhubs who is building me a barn this summer! A real one with stalls and everything, but more on that later.  

And I still have my High Queen.  She is still defying the odds.  I was certain she would be gone by Christmas but she hasn’t told me yet that she is ready to go.  She’s still happily eating, rolling, bossing the boys around.  For several months she was living with the neighbor and her mare. That is another story I will tell later. But she’s back home now and living with Fox who seems to adore her still.

Cowboy is living by himself which he seems mostly okay with, it was after all his choice to live by himself. Yet another story to tell. 

My daughter is slowly learning to ride. I don’t push but wait for her to ask me to ride and hope she will love it as I do.  Fox is her lead line pony for now, though I see a Welsh pony in our future.  He is gentle and tolerant with her and way more trustworthy, at least to me than, Cowboy.  My daughter has even ridden Seneca a couple of times, and because I knew it might be my last time I too swung up on the big bay mare, though in just a rope halter as anything else might cause my girl too much pain. 

Cowboy continues to be the naughty Appy he’s always been.  For awhile when I had all three horses together in the back pasture, with a truly lovely round bale so I could grow grass in the front pasture he was escaping nearly every day.   I could not understand why he was doing this, until I just left him by himself in the main pasture.  And the little heathen didn’t get out.  He wasn’t escaping to escape.  He was escaping because he wanted to be in a pasture by himself.  Cantankerous beast!

Several months ago now, we got new neighbors.  Lovely people who I really like and actually socialize with.  I know the anti-social queen actually wants to be friendly with the neighbors. At first they had just one horse, a big chestnut, OTTB mare named Amelia.  For awhile Amelia came to live with us because the neighbors property wasn’t ready yet but their boarding barn was closing.  From the first day Seneca was in absolute love with this mare.  She even shared her grain, which I had never seen her do.  So when the new property was ready I agreed to let Seneca keep Amelia company over there. It was great for everyone.  Until they got the third horse.  The gelding was a large, very stocky, old style paint, think part draft looking.  He was old and grumpy.  He did not like Seneca much and they did not get along well.  To the point that we all agreed Seneca should come home.

She moves slower these days and seems more tired. Yet she still seems happy, still eats, rolls, snaps at Fox occasionally, snaps at Cowboy always and seems generally happy.  We will see what this summer brings for us.

I am hoping I might get to a show or two this fall but life just always seems to get in the way these days. Maybe in another year or so when my daughter starts school, and I will be working a different job, in a different place, with new adventures to be had.

Until then keep it between the flags!

Where the Sidewalk Ends

I’ve been putting off this post for a while. It wasn’t one that I thought I would ever have to write, hoped I never would. But hope can only take you so far. Denial a little further but eventually truth in all its terrible glory will not stand idly by.

My dear, sometimes sweet, High Queen, Seneca has cancer. I’d known about the common types of equine cancer. These are sarcomas and melanoma. My lovely drama queen has neither of those. No, no, common types of cancer were not good enough for her. Seneca has osteosarcoma, otherwise known as bone cancer.  It’s extremely rare in horses. Look it up, you’ll see just how outside of the box my mare had to go to make her walk in to that good night a spectacularly unusual one.

It all started just before Halloween.  My travel plans changed so I was actually home for Halloween when I wasn’t expecting to be.  When I went to feed my ponies one afternoon I noticed a small swelling on Seneca’s jaw, just behind her chin and about where the noseband buckle would be.  It was a little sensitive to the touch but she was eating normally.  The vet was due out the next week for fall shots so I decided to have her take a look at the swelling if it was still there when the vet came out.

The vet arrived and examined it and we were both a little shocked to realize it wasn’t a normal swelling but a bone fracture.  Yet, what worried me was there was no wound, no damaged skin, so how had Seneca hit herself, or one of the boys hit her hard enough to fracture her jaw but not damage the skin?

We x-rayed the area and saw there was indeed a fracture.  At the time the vet herself told me it was unlikely to be cancer. My marching orders were to photograph it once a week but wait and see.

Within a couple of weeks the area had doubled in size.  Seneca was still acting and eating normally but while my head still wanted to be convinced by science, my heart already knew.  The vet came back out for a re-check and we didn’t need to x-ray it again, we both knew that my mare was one in a million.  My vet is this lovely French Canadian who was extremely sympathetic and had on her own done extensive research and examined the x-rays from every angle.  But there was no denying that cancer was cancer and with this kind there really was nothing we could do to cure it. We both talked about what came next and that Seneca and I were both not yet ready to say goodbye.

I’m writing this from a hotel room in Florida, while wishing that I was at home spending time with Seneca.  I don’t know how long she has left. As long as she’s happy, eating and acting normally I will continue to spoil her. There will be a day though, probably before Christmas when Seneca will look at me and I will know that it is time to let her go.  I’m doing everything I can to make the best memories possible until the end but it is so very hard because I have loved her big, snobby, brown butt for eleven years. And I do not want to let her go, I know it’s what’s best but it hurts so damn much.

Keep it between the flags everyone.

Doing What You Can With What You’ve Got and the Beauty of New Boots.

Every time I realize how long it has been since I’ve posted I feel horrible. Unfortunately this is my life right now. I have a full time job in the Navy (so my life isn’t really my own. YET!) an almost three year old daughter who can be at moments a holy terror, a farm, a big property to maintain and a house to keep clean and organized. 

So my life is pretty full. What this means is that I ride when I can but all my plans for competitions, clinics, and lessons went out the window a while ago. These days when I need a little flatwork inspiration I hit up some of my favorite trainers on YouTube. It’s not as good as being able to have a lesson with a dressage coach or a jumping coach but it’s what fits my life right now. 

I moved to a new command this past January.  And it’s not exactly what I was hoping for. I was hoping for a nice quiet shore duty to spend my last three years in the Navy before I retire and move on to a life that I get to orchestrate and make the choices for.  This is not that command. I travel. A LOT!  The first five months I was at the command I was only really in the office for a total of two weeks.  This winter I’ll be spending three months away from home with jaunts back to the farm for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I will miss my daughter’s third Halloween, but not her birthday thankfully.

My whole family is actually taking a vacation together. Every October the biggest hot air balloon festival in the United States, maybe the World happens in Albuquerque, New 

Mexico.  Which is really close to where Superhubs grew up and his family still lives.  We decided to take Her Majesty the Queen of Babies to the festival this year.  My mother, sisters, nephew and brother-in-law decided they wanted to come too.  AND! My husband sprang on me a surprise trip to the Grand Canyon while we are out in the Southwest! I’ve never been and I’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon at sunrise so we are going to make that trip happen as well. 

So what has been going on with my horses you ask?  Not a lot. I’ve been riding when I can, which with the current weather has either been super early in the morning or really late in the evening.  Recently I’ve had the Red Rogue Pony working on transitions and cavaletti work.  Plus working on the right side bend. He is super stiff and unyielding to that direction.  I’m pretty sure it’s due to me favoring that side and not being as strong on my left which I’m also trying to work on. 

I’ve also been riding Cowboy a little bit.  He’s still not my first choice to ride but we’re managing to get along.  He also can be super stiff so we’re working on bending and cavaletti work as well.   I’m hoping someday to take him to a dressage show but with my work life pretty much sucking up all my time and what’s left going to my daughter I just can’t ride as much as I used to. So I have to work with what I’ve got. 

My daughter while not completely sold on the aspect of horses as far as riding goes does occasionally ask me to ride.  I always choose Fox because he is the least likely to do something stupid when we are just strolling at the slowest walk possible. Which Fox and my daughter both love. My daughter has her own little helmet and I see tiny jods and paddock boots in her future. Super horsey mommy squeal!

Even though I’m not riding as much as I was this fact has not stopped me from acquiring some new equestrian items. Because my pre-pregnancy Kerrits Cross-over breeches don’t quite fit the way they used to I got a couple new pairs of breeches. My Kerrits are low rise, and having seen the photos of myself post pregnancy in those breeches I opted for mid-rise to er camouflage certain aspects of my anatomy that I don’t want to announce to the world.  Love handles cough cough.   I bought two pairs from two different brands. I bought a very nice pair of Romfh full seats, and a lovely pair of Ariat Tri-factor full seats.   I haven’t had a chance to wear the Romfhs yet but the Ariat’s wore really well and made me feel very secure in the saddle. I’ll put a full review on all my new stuff under that tab on the main page.

I also got two more new things. One I already have and LOVE, the other will be arriving tomorrow.  Since the beginning of my riding life as a wee little girl on ponies I have hated riding in my tall boots.  Prior to getting half chaps I rode in breeches in paddock boots almost exclusively unless I was showing.  Then I got half chaps and adored them. I have a pair of black suede Ariat half chaps that are nearly 20 years old.  In the way back days of my childhood when my parents couldn’t afford a pair of fancy tall boots I had a PVC pair that I would shine with Armor All for shows.  Then later when my feet stopped growing my mom bought me a pair of Devonaire pull on tall boots.  I loved the look but really hated riding in them because I lost the close contact feel.  When I could afford to buy my own boots and after I broke my ankle and I absolutely had to have zip up boots I got a pair of Ariat Crown Pros.  I was very much in love with them but again I lost the feel my half chaps gave me. Yet again I only wore them when I had to for shows.  

So I dealt with it, relegated my tall boots for when I had no choice. Then one day at the local tack shop I was perusing the tall boots and saw this style of boot that I’d heard of, seen on a few upper level riders but thought were kind of odd looking.  Enter the Ariat Volants.  The minute I tried on those boots it was an instant affair.  They were so comfortable and the already broken in panel on the inside had me sighing and trying to figure out how to afford them.   I stalked e-bay and anywhere else that might have them at a discount. No joy.  I put my unrequited love aside.  Until Smartpak put their Ariat Sport V’s on clearance at the same time I had some extra funds.  I snapped up a pair and they have now become my favorite boot to ride in. Along with the new breeches I feel like a tornado couldn’t dislodge me from the saddle.

The last new item, that is at this moment winging its way to me, is a new bridle.  I am a certified bridle hoarder.  I’d have to physically count all my bridles, something I am loath to do, but I think this will make bridle number 14.  I only have two ridable horses.  Did acknowledging my bridle hoarding stop me from buying a new bridle? Nope.  I got a new PS of Sweden Jump Off Bridle.  I was dithering back and forth between the Jump Off and the High Jump, but ultimately went with the Jump Off.  I’m really excited to see if either or both of the boys likes this bridle more than the SmartPak dressage bridle they both currently share. 

We shall have to see.  What’s up next for us?  Just training and trying to be more fit. My job will have me traveling again for several months. I just keep telling myself I only have a couple of years left and then I can do whatever the hell I want.

Until then, keep it between the flags my friends. 

The Sweet Spot

     Home again, home again, jiggety, jig! I’ve finally been home for longer than a week! And the weather hasn’t been totally horrible! I’ve managed to ride Fox twice and Cowboy twice.  We are only doing tack walking with a lap of the field at the trot as the end of the work out.  Since the ponies haven’t been ridden since May I want to take it easy on them and gently get everyone, myself included back in to shape.

Meanwhile I’ve had the Farrier Fairy out to attend to hooves, and my vet to get everyone’s shots, and coggins up to date for the spring.  Plus I got some x-rays done of Fox’s front feet so that the Farrier Fairy and I can make some more informed decisions about how to best take care of Fox’s feet.

Riding the two boys has been interesting. Fox is the lazy, I will only do the smallest amount unless pushed horse.  He is also the one that when he thinks the ride should be done he’ll try and shy, grab the bit and run back towards his girlfriend.  Naughty brat.

Cowboy on the other hand has been a sort of delightful surprise.  I’m not saying he doesn’t have his moments of “I don’t wanna.”   He does and he has more of a reason to protest than Fox does.  Cowboy has been my husband’s sometimes trail horse for the last six years. Meaning he got ridden maybe three or four times a year.  I had no serious interest in riding him. I mean come on I had the lovely High Queen and all her high jinks, then the Sunday Stroller gelding.

But Cowboy is that horse that always comes to the gate first, would always rather follow you around than be with the other horses. He is curious about absolutely everything. Plus he is super pretty and he is a very lovely mover.  I didn’t realize what a gift it is to sit on a nice mover until I rode Cowboy a few days ago.  Trotting him was such a change, a floating, gorgeous change from riding Fox that I was really kicking myself for not doing it ages ago.  Then he got a moment of naughty and broke in to a canter.  The most balanced, uphill canter I’ve sat on in years.

Now I love Fox, he is that easy going, never really spook at anything, best trail horse, level headed, jump anything pony that I wanted for a long, long time.  But he is also a lot of work. He is never going to be that self initiated forward mover.  I always have to work hard to get him to do dressage the way it needs to be done.  And while this makes me a better rider, it can be exhausting.

And then there is Cowboy.   He is naturally foward, not hot, just a big, energetic mover.  I have been over the last couple of months, from when the summer of hell finally ended, tried to be kinder to Cowboy, to try and see him as less of a brat who is always bugging you, and more of a friend who always wants to be part of what you are doing.  I’ve spent more time with him, groomed him more and generally went about changing the way I see him.


Another blogger, who I love, writes about her riding of her spicy mare. They went to a clinic with Dom Schramm, one of my favorite riders and clinicians.  Dom told the rider to ride her mare like she’s sweet.  I took this to mean that if you expect naughty, bad behavior, you are going to get it. I’m not saying not to be prepared, but don’t look for it.  I’m trying to ride Cowboy as if he’s sweet, letting go over past transgressions and trying to appreciate what Cowboy has to offer.

In honor of that, when the vet came out I asked her to list Cowboy’s show name on his coggins so that if I can get him to some shows this year I can show him with the name I chose.   Which is
“The Sweet Spot”

Keep it between the flags everyone! And Happy New Year!

Recommitting, Reengaging and Revitalizing

So here I am post the summer from hell and I still haven't gotten back on the proverbial and literal horse. There are a lot of reasons I haven't gotten back in the saddle yet.  Some are easy to define, others not so much. 

My motivation to do more than just groom, pick hooves and feed treats just hasn't been there lately.  A lot of it had to do with coming down from the ultra-high stress bus that I had been riding for almost four months.  I lived with a high level of daily stress for so long that it took several weeks of little to no stress to bring me back to a baseline.  

Which is about when my desire to ride again began kicking in.  I started reading my Practical Horseman’s again, perusing the Dover/SmartPak catalogs, touching with longing all my good tack that is currently living in my bedroom as my tack room is also the guest bedroom. I started looking at my ponies with an eye towards what we need to work on, how we're going to get all the muscle we lost back and what we can do this winter to make riding easier. 

Essentially I found my riding mojo again, I found my riding love again, I found myself. 

I still have a month long training to do that will have me away from home from mid-November to mid-December. Which sort of sucks because I need to do the annual shaving of the wooly beast who, while he is definitely a Thoroughbred, is absolutely convinced that he is an Appaloosa/Welsh Pony cross. So while my other two, the OTTB mare and the actual Appy are just mildly fuzzy, Fox has nearly a full on winter coat already. 

So here I am laying it down in black and white. I am recommitting to my riding, reengaging with my passion and my pony and revitalizing my heart and my dreams.  This year we will go Beginner Novice, we will canter dressage worthy circles, we will do a clinic with someone great. We will go down to the North Carolina Horse Park and do the War Horse Eventing Trial.  We will be the partners that I know we can be.

I will commit to taking Cowboy to a horsemanship clinic and find our own partnership so that he can have a job and feel loved and needed. We will prance down centerline and wow everyone with how lovely a mover he is. We will do a cross rails jumping class and we will trail ride and have fun. 

I listen to a lot of audio books. Sometimes I listen to fiction, sometimes memoirs, and sometimes self-help.  There was one self-help book that talked about writing down or saying your goals out loud.  How these simple acts reinforce things in your mind and makes it easier and believable to achieve your goals. 

So here I am, this is the year we get off our butts and do all those things I've been dreaming of.  

Keep it Between the Flags everyone!

Why I Dropped Off the Earth Again

I realized after logging in today that I have not posted since April.  After the summer I have had it feels like years ago instead of months. So let me dive in to the reason I dropped off the earth again.

Way back in March I entered what I jokingly call the Second Circle of the Circus. In the Navy when you are an E6 (Its a rank) the next move is to E7, or Chief.  It's a big deal, a lot of changes and responsibility come with it.  It is not an easy move to make. First there is the exam (The first circle of the circus), then there is Making Board, meaning you've passed the exam and now your record will be looked at by a board of upper rank enlisted and officers to decide whether or not they will recommend you for Chief.

The Selected for Board results come out in March, this is the Second Circle.  As expected I made Board, but I didn't get excited at that point. I've made Board before and not been selected.  But I wanted to be prepared just in case so I started the Couch to 5K program using their app.  And I completed my second ever in my life 5K on Memorial day.  I actually did a trail run through a horse ranch which was pretty cool.

Then there is the long wait for the Selection results to come out.  For me the results come out usually in the first week or two of July. I took leave the first week of July so I could flip out in private if I didn't get selected again.  And the results were late so I ended up being at work the day they came out anyway.

And I was Selected, this is the end of the third circle of the circus and the beginning of the fourth.  The fourth circle is Initiation.  This is like extreme bootcamp. Lots of PT and other stuff to prepare you for being promoted.

So that is where I disappeared to for so long.  Now I'm on the other side.  And I only have one sound horse right now. Seneca as usual is happy in her permanent retirement.  Fox must have been feeling a bit jealous of this and realizing my preoccupation with work was about to come to an end and his cushy holiday with it, he contrived to be on the injured list.

A few weeks ago, in the dark, I went out to feed my three ponies.  Fox limped, three legged limped up to me out of the dark.  I quickly hung up the phone conversation I was having and went to check him out.  He'd cut up his left pastern, but he was actually limping on the right front foot.  That was strange all on it's own.   Later I saw the gate between the two pastures was wrecked.  Which explained the cut and I thought Fox must have gotten hung up on it and pulled his shoulder.  So I applied some first aid, did my best to make him comfortable and added some bute to his feed.

After several days his limping was less and and less though not gone.  Then the Farrier Fairy came out and when she went to trim that right front foot we discovered that he wasn't injured he had just contrived a massive sole abcess at the same time he'd cut himself. Sneaky pony.

So that leaves Fox on the injured list a while longer and I'm treating his recovering foot and to try to stave off thrush. Meanwhile this leaves Cowboy as my only sound horse.  Uhmm yea?
I have been trying to let go of the past lately and learn to love that big spotted beast.  I still see lots of lunging in our future but it's not out of the realm of possibility to see us swaggering down the centerline some time this winter.

Also stay tuned to the Reviews page for some updates on a new footing solution I added to one of my run-in sheds and the truly awesome haynets I got this year that even Fox hasn't managed to destroy!

Keep it between the flags everyone!