Monday, October 8, 2012

The Moment Before the Fall

       This past month as been pretty much a roller coaster for me. Not just in my riding and "horse life" but the rest of my life as well. Mainly it's my job causing me anxiety and lost sleep.  I thought this past Monday that most of the constant anxiety and headache would be gone when I got moved to a different department. Nope, not so much. I got moved to a different department and then on Friday I got moved again to a department whose job I know absolutely nothing about and not only that but I'm being scouted to run the department.  I will own up right now I am not a confident person, I hate making decisions that impact other people's lives, and I hate being responsible for other people's actions. Give me a job to do and I'm good, make my job making other people do their's and thats a whole different story.

But on top of the whole job anxiety I came home on Friday to ride the High Queen who I hadn't been able to ride in about a week due to work, my online school stuff, and just everything else.  My husband volunteered to film me so I can see where my position was and how I could improve.  We did some great stuff, cantered a three fence grid, and cantered the new wood pile jump I created.  But somewhere in the middle of doing the grid in the opposite direction my husband calls out that Seneca looks off on the left hind. *Frown*.

I stop, get off, assess and sure enough she's slightly off on the left hind. Damn it.  Yesterday I put the horses out in the side pasture and when it got colder after a rain I went out to put a sheet on Seneca. She evaded me, the cow and went traipsing around the field as if I had imagined her being lame.  But then this morning when I was putting her out in the side pasture again I lunged her a bit to check her soundness.  She wasn't visably off at the walk, but she was wayyy off at the trot.  Fabulous.

I feel in my heart that its Seneca's current issue is her arthritis kicking up. She's had arthritis since I've had her, but her Cosequin supplement always kept her happy, comfy and sound. But with the cooler weather, not so much any more. I could change her supplement and hope for the best, I could have the vet out to confirm what I already know.

But what if she isn't rideable beyond trail rides? I can't afford, nor have enough pasture for a third horse right now. So where do I go from here?  Well, there is always the Spotted Brat.  He's sound, young, old enough to jump, and a nice mover.  He also has the attention span of a gnat, but hopefully with an actual job all his airs above ground attitude will go away.

On top of everything else my wonderful trainer Chris is moving away to Colorado. So there will be no lessons with him. Although Kim Severson is giving lessons in his stead at the farm where Chris had his training operation.  Lessons on a bright green horse with an Olympian? How many ways from awkward would that feel?

And that is where I am right now, no flags in sight.

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